Hamlet: So much for this.
Do you remember all the circumstances?
Horatio: I remember.
Hamlet: I couldn't sleep because of what is going on. There was a troubling inside of me that wouldn't let me sleep. It was worse than convicts in shckels trying to get away. Quickly, and thanks for the quickness, our unwise and rash acts sometimes benefit us. When our secret plans are covered, that should teach us that there is a greater power that decides our outcome no matter how we like it-
Horatio: That's true.
Hamlet: I got up from my cabin and groped around looking for Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, and when I did, I took the note, broke the seal, and read what it said. It was an order for my execution!
Horatio: Are you sure?
Hamlet: Here it is; read it at your leisure, but will you listen to me as you read?
Horatio: I hear you.
Hamlet: In the nets of villains, I set down, and wrote a new commission. I wrote it in the beautiful hand of a professional clerk. It was very useful for me at that time. Do you want to know what I wrote?
Hamlet: I asked the King to kill them immediately.
Horatio: What did you do about an official seal?
Hamlet: I had my father's signet ring in my bag, and it was identical to the one that the king used. I switched them safely, and the next day was our fight in the sea. The rest you know.
Horatio: So Rosencrantz and Guildenstern died?
Hamlet: But they loved their work. They practically killed themselves.
Horatio: What kind of a king is this?
Hamlet: Isn't it up to me? He killed my father, seduced my mother, came between me and my success, and tried to kill me. Wouldn't it be poetic if I killed him myself?
Horatio: He'll soon here from the English King of what happened there.
Hamlet: Very shortly. It doesn't take long to end a man's life. I'm sorry I lost control of myself with Laertes. I see him and me as a mirror image. I will make it up to him.
Horatio: Who is this?
Orsic: Welcome back to Denmark!
Hamlet: I thank you. Do you know this pretty dragonfly?
Hamlet: I'm glad to know him. Let one dumb animal own lots of other dumb animals and he can eat with the king!
Orsic: If you have the time, I can give you a message from the king...
Hamlet: I will take it. Put your hat to its use; put it on your head.
Orsic: Thank you. It is hot out today.
Hamlet: It is very cold; take my word for it. The wind is northerly.
Orsic: It is rather chilly.
Hamlet: But it is pretty hot from my point of view.
Orsic: The king has placed a large wager on your head. He wants you to-
Hamlet: Hat on your head-
Orsic: Laertes is a gentleman of pleasing manners and an excellent appearance. He knows how one gentlemen should admire another.
Hamlet: Your description fits him, but it would be extremely hard to name all of his qualities, because you know he is multi-talented. I know he is well worth evaluating, but the only person that could come close to matching him would be his own shadow.
Orsic: You speak flawlessly of him.
Hamlet: Why are we admiring him?
Horatio: Can we speak more simply? I know you'll try.
Hamlet: Why speak about him at all?
Orsic: About Laertes?
Horatio: There aren't any more words to describe him!
Hamlet: About him.
Orsic: I know you aren't ignorant-
Hamlet: I wish you did, but if you did, you wouldn't give me that much credit, would you?
Orsic: You don't know Laertes' excellence-
Hamlet: I would never admit that.
Orsic: I mean excellence with his weapon. He has no equal according to his followers.
Hamlet: What is his weapon?
Orsic: Rapier and dagger.
Hamlet: That's two weapons, but still...
Orsic: The King has wagered six horses and Laertes has staked six rapiers and daggers. Three carriages are very nice.
Hamlet: What are the carriages that you are talking about?
Horatio: I knew you would need footnotes in the end!
Orsic: The straps.
Hamlet: The word would be appropriate if we were mounting cannons to our sides. There's a French bet against a Danish. Why is it 'staked'?
Orsic: The King has wagered that in a dozen bouts that Laertes will not score three higher than you. Laertes wagered he will score nine hits out of twelve. If you answer now he will do it now.
Hamlet: What if I answer 'no'?
Orsic: I mean, 'accept the challenge'.
Hamlet: I'm going to take a walk down this hall. It is my exercise time. If he is still up to it when I am finished, I'll play for the king. I have nothing to lose but my own shame.
Orsic: Shall I tell this to the king?
Hamlet: Tell him whatever that comes naturally.
Orsic: Okay. Thank you.
Hamlet: Sure. He recommends himself well. Nobody would do it for him.
Orsic: This bird flies off with his shell still stuck to his head.
Hamlet: He observed proper courtesy before he sucked from his mother's nipple. You put him to a real test, and his bubble would burst.
Lord: The king wants to know if you will compete with Laertes now.
Hamlet: I am ready now.
Lord: Everyone are on their way down.
Hamlet: Well timed.
Lord: The queen would like for you to show some politeness before you fight Laertes.
Hamlet: I will.
Horatio: You will lose.
Hamlet: I don't think so. Ever since he was in France, I have been in continual practice. I will win.
Hamlet: It's silly: the things that upset a woman.
Horatio: If you suspect that there is something wrong, I can stop them and you tell them that you are sick.
Hamlet: Nope. If death comes now, it won't come in the future. If not in the future, then now. You should always be prepared. Since no man knows what he will be missing, then there's nothing to lose.
King: Come here, Hamlet, and take Laertes' hand.
Hamlet: I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I am mad and you must respect that.
Laertes: I accept your apology, but I will avenge my father's death.
Hamlet: I welcome it. I challenge you. Bring us the foils.
Laertes: Give me one.
Hamlet: I'll be your foil, Laertes. My clumsiness will make your skill look like a bright star in the darkest night!
Laertes: You are mocking me.
Hamlet: No, I'm not.
King: Give them the foils, Orsic. Hamlet, do you know the wager?
King: I have watched you both, and since Laertes has better form, he has a handicap.
Laertes: This one is too heavy. Give me another.
Hamlet: I like this one. Are the foils all the same length?
King: Put the wine on that table. If Hamlet wins the first two bout or draws the third, fire the cannons. The King will drink to Hamlet's success, and he'll drop a pearl worth more than all the pearls on the last four kings of Denmark. Bring me the cups! Judges, keep a watchful eye.
Hamlet: Come on.
Laertes: Come on.
Hamlet: A ruling!
Orsic: A sure hit.
King: Hold. Give me a drink. Hamlet, this pearl is yours! To your health! Give him the cup.
Hamlet: I'll play this bout first. Set it down for a second. Come. Another hit. Correct?
Laertes: A touch, nothing more.
King: Our son will win!
Queen: He's not the fittest, and looks out of breath. Here, Hamlet: take my handkerchief and wipe your face. The Queen drinks to your good fortune, Hamlet!
King: Gertrude, do not drink!
Queen: I will.
King: It's too late! She drank!
Hamlet: I won't drink yet.
Queen: Let me wipe your face.
Laertes: I will hit him now.
King: I don't think so.
Laertes: I want to so bad!
Hamlet: We'll go for the third bout. Swing with all your might. I think you are teasing me.
Laertes: Really? Let's go!
Laertes: I'll get you now!
King: Separate them!
Hamlet: Right, come!
Orsic: Stop the fight! Look at the queen!
Horatio: Both of you are bleeding. How are you?
Orsic: How are you, Laertes?
Laertes: I have just killed myself.
Hamlet: What is the matter with the queen?
King: She falls because she sees blood.
Queen: No, no! The drink! I've been poisoned!
Hamlet: Treachery! Lock the doors! We must find it!
Laertes: Right here, Hamlet. You're doomed and so am I. You have less than a half hour to live. The king is to blame!
Hamlet: The point poisoned too? Do your work, venom!
King: You must defend me! I am only wounded.
Hamlet: Is this your drink? Finish it and join my mother!
Laertes: Swap forgiveness with me, Hamlet, and we will both be forgiven for the deaths we have caused.
Hamlet: I am a dead man, Horatio! Good bye, queen! I am as good as dead! You are living. Only give the account of me and my motives to those who don't know the full story.
Horatio: You better not believe it. There's more ancient Roman on me than Dane. There's still some of the drink left.
Hamlet: Give me the cup! Let go! What a bad name I would leave behind if the whole story wasn't told! If you ever loved me, don't commit suicide. Suffer the harsh world to tell my story. What is that warlike noise?
Orsic: Young Fortinbras has returned from his conquest from Poland.
Hamlet: I'm dying! I give all of this to Fortinbras and elect him king. Tell him so, with the general details that have persuaded me to- The rest is silence...
Horatio: There ends a noble life. Good bye, fair prince: may angels sing as a choir to rest you. Why do they come this way?
Fortinbras: Where is this sight?
Horatio: What do you want to see? If it is sorrowful, then look no further.
Fortinbras: Death, what are you preparing in your eternal cell? Why have you claimed so many nobles at once?
First Ambassador: The sight is terrible, and our news is too late. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are dead as ordered. Who do we give thanks to?
Horatio: Not from him, even if it could. All of this death is because of accidents, respect, and the backfire of one's plan to kill another.
Fortinbras: Let us hear it now. I have ownership of this and now is the best time to claim it.
Horatio: You are the new king. Let's have the ceremony now before anything else will happen.
Fortinbras: Four captains will take Hamlet like a soldier to the platform. If would have lived to be king, he would have truly been royal. Raise the bodies. This is not the appropriate place for all of these bodies; it looks like a battlefield. Go: order the soldiers to shoot.